Sunday, April 3, 2011

Sometimes I'm a debbie downer

The weird thing about living somewhere 'cool' like London is dealing with other peoples' expectations for your life. I find that it makes it a million times worse when you're not having an awesome time, because then you're the downer who isn't living out other peoples' fantasies. I understand that living in London can seem glamorous for someone working an office job in the US. I know this because that's half the reason I'm here. (The other half may have to do with actually wanting to get an education in this field, but who can say at this point).

But while there are some awesome things, unfortunately (or fortunately) sometimes the place has little to do with how your life is- it's more about the people you surround yourself with, the work/school you're doing, and the million other things going on. So while there are definitely perks to being in London instead of Atlanta/DC/NYC- like randomly wandering into boutiques footsteps from my house filled to the brim with brands that would be a little too outre for ATL (even if I can't afford them), or having a multitude of awesome pho places and bars and hipster coffeeshops all within walking distance, or taking a double decker bus to school, it's still life. There's still shitty weather, and exams, and exorbitant exchange rates that don't care that you're a student whose money comes in the form of dollars, and the still-dismal media job market looming the background, and family and friends that are way too far away. Of course it's a once in a lifetime experience, but sometimes I wish this experience was in the past and I could just be at home, with my friends, going to happy hour and eating Chik-fil-a and nursing my hangovers without papers looming over my head.

I've moved around so much in the past few years, to a bunch of interesting places that have never felt quite right. Although in hindsight they always look way better than how they felt at the time. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't feel nostalgic for beer pong with my kickball team while I'm in one of the greatest cities in the world, but there you go. What the hell am I trying to say? I think it has something to do with the fact that while I have had decent reasons for moving and I don't think I'll ever regret having tried out a bunch of different cities, I also need to not use moving to a new, exciting city as an escape for the crap in my life- because the cliched "Wherever you go, there you are?" Well, I'm definitely here.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. I'm one of those silly Americans that is like, "Must be in London/UK right now! OMG my life will be so much better!"

    But as of late, working at my desk job and imagining faraway and lovely places that aren't here..I can completely agree with that last quote "Wherever you go, there you are." You still gotta work, write, finish school, pay bills and such no matter where you are.